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Mozart’s Requiem plays on the hi-fi in a cozy, inviting living room.  There are columns of bookshelves and horizontal shelves just below the ceiling.  There is a large plant with large green leaves in one corner.  The Professor stands in that corner, somewhat hidden by the leaves, reading an impressive tome, his glasses perched on the end of his nose.  He thumbs the pages gently, allowing himself time to absorb every word.  His pipe smolders away. He wears a modest shirt, tie, sweater, pants, and corduroy blazer, all of earth tones.  He is completely content.  He realizes he has company, and looks up from his book.


        Oh.  Hello.  I didn’t see you there.  I 

        was just reliving some of my favorite 


The Professor looks back down at the pages and traces a few words with his finger, saying one last goodbye to his true loves.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        Hmm.  Well, then.

He settles the bookmark ribbon and eases the tome closed. He traces the binding with his thumb and carefully returns the book to its home on the shelf.  He saunters into the room.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        History.  Not the history of country or 

        king or conflict, but rather, the making 

        of history.  We will discuss something 

        tonight that is, truly historical.      

He approaches a high-backed chair and sits.  A portable film screen stands at his one side, a small trunk, his magic trunk, at the other.  

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        Please, make yourself comfortable. 

He advances a slide carousel via remote to a slide of the earth.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        As long as mankind has tread upon the 

        planet, it has sought out fire for 

        warmth, protection, and its very 

        survival.  Whether it be fur-clad 

        Neanderthals cooking their bone-killed 


He advances to a slide of a cityscape.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        or technological man smelting the 

        materials for his iron cities, none of 

        it could be accomplished without     

        heat.  As the decades pass, unavoidably 

        hurtling mankind into the future, it 

        has realized a need for heat on a much 

        smaller level, but with greater 

        accessibility and convenience.  

He pauses.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        A device.  Ladies and gentleman.  It is 

        upon us.

He slowly raises the remote control beside his face and advances to a slide of the Wonder Warmer head superimposed on the earth. 

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        The Wonder Warmer cometh.  

He gesticulates with his pipe.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        Mankind is an active, mobile animal.  

        Yes?  Whether it be traversing the 


He advances to a slide of a snow boarder, then a child sledding.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        journeying to and from the day’s                             


He advances to a slide of subway riders on the platform, then a security guard working outside.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        or simply enjoying time with a loved one,

He advances to a slide of someone walking their dog in the cold.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        it must coexist with this living planet. 

        Warmth provides a much more comfortable                                    

        coexistence.  And no matter how 

        indestructible mankind thinks it may be, 

He advances to a slide of a sports injury, then a backache, then arthritis, then a massage.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        coexistence can also have its price.  

He pauses.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        The quest for comfort and malady relief 

        has found its grail.  Enter...

He advances to a slide of a Large Rectangle Wonder Warmer.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        ...the Wonder Warmer.  This incredible 

        apparatus     offers mankind a source of 

        heat whose diversification,

He advances to a slide of a Hand Warmer pair, then a Neck and Shoulders warmer, and then a Baby Bottle Warmer wrapped around a baby bottle.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D)

        and simplicity make it ideal, for 

        house, sport, or exploration.  And how 

        does one release this magic, you ask?  

        My god...

He opens the magic trunk and an awesome beam of light is released.  He produces from within a Wonder Warmer and closes the trunk.  

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        You take this nearly impenetrable pouch, 

        and holding it with both hands, press 

        the raised side of the metal disc with 

        both thumbs.  The non-toxic gel 

        crystallizes before one’s eyes, producing 

        heat.  But the truly extraordinary element 

        to these little miracles, is a reality for                

        planaria flatworms, but something of which mankind

        only dreams.

He pauses.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 


He once again opens his magic trunk and produces a tea kettle, a mug, and a tea bag.  He describes the Wonder Warmer boiling process while making a cup of tea, using the trunk as a table. 

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        Once one’s Wonder Warmer has grown cold, 

        by protecting it with a cloth and 

        placing it in a bath of boiling water, 

        one induces the crystals to liquefy, 

        recharging the Wonder Warmer.  Once it 

        cools, it is ready to use immediately, 

        or save it for the future.  

        Warmer, reborn. 

He takes off his glasses and cleans the lenses.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        So whether one is trekking through the 

        snowy regions, exploring the great 

        metropolis, or simply soothing the 

        body, mankind’s needs, and desires, 

        have been answered.  A new dawn is 


He raises his mug and nods his head.

                    PROFESSOR (CONT’D) 

        Here endeth the lesson. 

He takes a sip.



        Wonder Warmers.  Evolve.